Monday, September 3, 2012

three > two: a louis/zayn/liam post

I hope you enjoy things that are pretty and things that are awesome and things that are hilarious because that’s what Louis/Zayn/Liam are. Pretty, awesome and hilarious. So here’s an OT3 post for them. Because as the title says, three > two.

This is part 3 (and maybe the last part? I don’t know.) in the OT3 series. Click here for part 1 (Liam/Harry/Louis), here for part 2 (Liam/Zayn/Harry), and click here for the Liam bromance primers.

Liam: I’d met you (Louis) once and you were really quiet, which is kind of strange now because you’re the loudest person ever. I met Zayn at McDonalds and he was very quiet then as well. So it’s really strange, you two are now the loudest people in the band.

Basically, Liam’s relationship with these two is like one long, ongoing episode of Punk’d where Louis and Zayn were like, “hey, you’re in a boyband with a bunch of regular guys!” which was quickly followed by “hahaha jk now we’re going to jump all over you and kiss you and bite you and strip you on camera.” (Think about that for a second. Yeah, they are all things. that. happened.)

Louis and Zayn are partners in crime and Liam is an all-too-easy target.

Liam valiantly tries to find an explanation which will logically excuse his bandmate’s insanity.

His bandmates are having none of that. (Liam your face is adorable and one of these days I will be able to contain myself from turning everything I write into a tribute to it.)

Like, I’m not even sure what is going on here. The only thing I am sure of is that Zayn and Louis are insane and most people would react to someone running into a glass door and falling over but NOT LIAM. Liam just wants to play the piano, ok? If he stopped every time one of his bandmates fell over he would never get anything done.

PSA from Liam: Do not get fooled by his long eyelashes and broody Jess Mariano-like exterior, Zayn is actually a menace to sanity. (Louis agrees and is delighted by it all.)

And Zayn will try to fool you.

Remember, don’t be fooled by the leather jacket and sexually suggestive graphic t-shirt! (… I mean, if you are feeling a little fooled, perhaps focus on the Pokemon logos in the background.) Also, remember when Liam didn’t know what shirts were for?

And this is what happens when everyone tries to pout. (Bad things happen.)

Trying so very, very hard to maintain that pout. Let your (not so) hidden inner dork out, Zayn. (Louis is tiny.)

See? Your pout is just hilarious. Liam enjoys making fun of it. So does Louis.

But Louis likes to make fun of Zayn for a lot of things.

Anyway, Louis and Zayn are loud. And even though Liam likes to complain about Louis and Zayn being loud, he’s also really really loud. And random. And they’re all total dorks/idiots/morons and I promise these aren’t terms of endearment. They are just truths of the universe. Like Newton’s laws of physics or Rule 34. (Rule 34 is probably even more truth-y than Newton’s laws at this point.)

Yes. They are singing “All I Want For Christmas Is You” and beatboxing and being weird and random and honestly this video is amazing for so many reasons.

Okay so they’re all incredibly stupid but look at Zayn’s FACE. Then remember he is legitimately scared of heights. Then roll over in laughter at this entire situation.

Zayn has a nicely expressive face that is capable of portraying great beauty and great derpiness. It’s one of the many wonders of the modern world.

Trippin balls, man. Whoa, dude, look, it’s a camera. Holy shit, man.

Basically they are nothing but idiots at meet and greets because really, aren’t fan meet and greet pictures all about looking stupid?

Sometimes I am legitimately concerned for their mental health.

Look! Liam’s doing the splits. LET’S ALL TOUCH HIM.

You all have such stupid faces. They make me angry.

Oh hey, they can take a normal picture. I swear, finding a picture where they all look like real life human beings instead of horrible life-ruining demons is like trying to find a strand of hay in a needle stack. Hard, extremely painful and when you finally find it, you realize how pointless it all was because needles are so much cooler.

See? Needles are better. Also I can use them to stab my eyes out when looking at these pictures becomes too painful.

Oh look they’re carrying Zayn. OH LOOK AT THEIR ARMS. I mean, you can try not to look at their arms but really who are you kidding? Who am I kidding? Why does this picture exist if not solely to torture me.

They just really like carrying Zayn in their arms and I would rather not have to deal with thinking about it any more.

And sometimes I guess Louis and Liam like doing other things that Zayn perhaps does not fully understand.

Like hey, let’s drag Zayn around. (Still would like to know where the footage from that dude’s camera is. I’m waiting for it. You look like you had some good shots, dear sir.)

This might be cheating a bit because, yeah, Zayn isn’t animated here but his face is just such an accurate response to everything in this band. Louis and Liam just want to play air violin, yo’.

Zayn has a reason to be upset at least. Because sometimes Louis/Liam shenanigans lead to accidental injuries.

… honestly accidental injuries are not even a one-off thing. Somehow this band manages to turn everything into a gigantic ball of stupid and then they suck you in with them until you’re not sure who you hate more, them or yourself.

asdfwejaflij SO STPUID. (I considered fixing that typo but it’s apt so I’m not going to.) Like. That looks seriously painful. THEY’RE GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES.

But Zayn injuring Liam is totally accidental. Louis injuring Liam? Not so much. This leads to Zayn being Liam’s protector. Because Liam clearly needs a protector. It’s not like he’s bigger than all of them and had extensive boxing lessons or anything. (Shh… let Zayn have this.)

Zayn will defend your honor with manly slap fights, Liam.

Louis tormenting Liam. No big deal. Honestly, Liam doesn’t seem to care… and Zayn appears to be… doing the robot? I don’t know. They’re performing so Zayn could literally be doing anything. He could be acting out a scene from My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic and that would totally fit in with their regular performance.

But then Zayn snaps back to his senses (or sees Louis hugging Liam, you decide!) and lays down the law, Malik-style. (Apparently Malik-style means like a lead-footed figure skater.)

Although sometimes Zayn doesn’t get quite the credit he deserves (read: craves) from Liam.

Tomlinson sees his opening and goes in for the hit on an unsuspecting Payne. Malik quickly intercepts.


I trust Louis on this one. He’s on the receiving end of Zayn’s cat-like reflexes and agility enough to know. (Also lol at how seriously Liam says, “he’s not.” “Silly Louis, Zayn is not actually Bruce Lee. He’s Zayn.”)

What Liam really needs defense from is Louis’s emotional abuse. Zayn’s here for that, too.

Zayn, staring at Liam, waiting for this all to go horribly wrong. He needs to be close for when Liam is in his most vulnerable emotional state. Louis just wants to laugh at Liam for being an idiot. (I just want to laugh at Liam for being an idiot.)

There, there Liam. It’ll all be alright. Zayn won’t let that mean ol’ Louis say any more bad things about you.

(You know, Louis, Zayn might be defending your honor too if your reaction to his inability to swim was less like this and more like Liam’s.)

He might also defend your honor if you pinched his nipples a little less. Can we talk about how Liam literally does not react to having his nipple pinched any more? Whereas Zayn looks like someone has insulted his mother. Or his hair.

Hey let’s talk about Zayn and Louis talking about smelling Liam.

Hahahahaha. You thought I was crazy. But this happened. (… I admit that doesn’t mean I’m not crazy, but at least the root of my crazy is easily traceable. Hint: It begins with “One” and ends with “Direction should go to hell for all being assholes.”)

Zayn’s face this entire time. He’s just daring Louis to go smell Liam. Yeah, smell him. WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. (Nothing will happen. Zayn might look mildly distressed.)

Louis doing Zayn a solid and shipping him with Liam in a Friends AU. (Though I pray for Zayn’s sake they skip the whole “we were on a break” phase…. aka the middle 8 seasons.)

They should probably work on their acting before attempting to reenact Friends though. They all appear to default to their natural states of being when attempting to “act.” Louis is doing a good job looking annoyed and judgmental. Liam is doing a good job looking sad and confused. And Zayn is doing a good job looking like he’s about to get some. All is right in the universe.

All is also right in the universe when they are laughing like kittens.

So happy.

So very, very happy. I am not happy, though. I am very, very upset.

Smile one more time, I dare you.

:\ they called my bluff.

DJ Malik and friends!

They just like touching a lot.

>This entire interview was just like 20 minutes of Louis/Liam/Zayn being all over each other and holding hands and resting on each other’s shoulders and hahahahahahhaha. HA. I say.

They are both very fond of Liam. He is their Liam. (Liam is mostly confused.)

Let’s play how many hands can we have on Liam at once. But really Liam is so very much no longer an active player in his own life. It has been consumed by boyband touchy feely-ness.

He is no longer aware of any other way to live. One Direction/Co-dependency OTP.

I tried to fit this gif into a section but really what section is “Louis, Liam and Zayn put their hands on a pregnant woman’s stomach” supposed to go in? I need a field guide for this band and their antics. Something that categorizes everything they do into nice, discrete groups. (Spoiler alert: the umbrella group is “life-ruining.”)

They are all so very attractive.

Ya know what I’m saying? God they all should put their faces away because no one needs this. No one.

Kiiinda just here because it’s a gif that turns them all into human accordions. It’s like they are stretching their bodies by raising their eyebrows. Weirdest mutant power, ever.

Thank god someone decided to put this in black and white and remove all the contrast because otherwise I might not be able to look at it. (1d fandom + photoshop = bad things)

Speaking of photoshop, did someone replace Zayn’s eyes with Bambi’s? Because that’s the only explanation for this.

There is no explanation for this. Well, no explanation that I can keep G-rated. (… because the rest of my blog is totally G-rated.)

Pretty people being pretty is always the greatest thing about any fandom.

I don’t know what Louis is doing but this is more Powerpuff Girls color coordination. (… I don’t know who is who in this case.) (Alternatively this picture could be captioned: “Liam, I know how awesome it was when Leona Lewis said hi to you, you’ve told me this story A HUNDRED TIMES.”)


The story behind this picture is probably something so stupid. But Liam’s face of genuine concern for Louis’s well-being makes it so endearing. DON’T WORRY, LOU, I’LL SAVE YOU!!!

Louis, that is the definition of a forced smile. The other two don’t look much better. Did someone just tell a really cringe-worthy joke? Did someone praise The Wanted? What’s going on here?

Dressed up and disheveled. It’s a good look.

Okay so this was not my greatest work of art but that’s mostly because these three are too much. THEY ARE TOO MUCH. There are too many feelings. They are all just such trolly, horrible, loving human beings that I cannot wrap my head around it. I think this is my actual OT3? Y’know. If it’s possible for one to have just one OT3 in this band. (It isn’t.) I hope you have enjoyed the pretty. Have one more pic:


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